Making Elizabeth Holmes’ cringey texts public is the ultimate crime deterrent

The Elizabeth Holmes trial has made me extra decided than ever to keep away from doing crimes. I’ll be sticking to the legislation from right here on out, thanks very a lot. It’s not for any noble motive — I don’t have any new sense of morality or sudden need to be an excellent particular person. No, I’m zealously sticking to the legislation as a result of doing crimes may, theoretically, put me in the identical place disgraced Theranos founder Holmes is in proper now: having my textual content message historical past revealed in courtroom.

Dozens of textual content messages between Holmes and her ex-boyfriend (and ex-business companion) Sunny Balwani had been learn aloud throughout Holmes’ trial for fraud this week. Hundreds had been launched by the prosecution and extra had been obtained by CNBC. A number of the messages talked about issues with the blood testing expertise, which could assist prosecutors present that Holmes knew that they didn’t work as marketed. Others had been rather more… private. Like when Holmes texted Balwani “you’re the breeze in desert for me.” Now, together with the “would possibly go to jail” factor, Holmes has to reside with the data that everybody is aware of she despatched that textual content.

I’m not positive if I’m being hyperbolic once I say that’s my very worst nightmare. I can confidently say that I’ve by no means informed somebody that they’re the breeze within the desert, however my textual content historical past remains to be embarrassing as hell. Isn’t everybody’s? Mine is stuffed with unhealthy tweets and shit speaking and screenshots that ought to by no means, ever see the sunshine of day. Looking for the phrase “homicide” in iMessage brings up dozens of outcomes, most of that are in conversations about on-line courting. Listed here are some moderately-cringe-but-not-too-terrible messages I’ve despatched lately:

And I received to fastidiously curate these! I received to comb by means of and choose just a few messages that I believed would assist talk that I’m somebody who sends considerably embarrassing texts however am not TOO bizarre. Holmes simply had the whole lot dumped on the web, for anybody to see. I requested a pal what she would do if that occurred to her. “Grasp myself I assume,” she responded, in one other doubtful (and to be clear, exaggerated) entry into each of our iMessage histories.

If very high-profile public trials like this one is usually a deterrent towards different folks committing crimes like those Holmes is accused of, this one is working. I can confidently say I can’t develop an inaccurate medical testing machine and defraud traders. I’m going to be very, excellent.